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Saving a Marriage: 10 Deadly Mistakes to Avoid In a Relationship

By on November 16, 2015 in Advice, Counselling, Family, Marriage
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saving-your-marriageThe Following Are the Top 10 Mistakes People Make in Their Relationship.

By Avoiding Them, Hopefully Heartbreaks Will be Spared, Paving the Way to Saving Your Marriage – Efficiently

Make sure to cross off any or all of the points below from your checklist of marriage surviving essentials – and rest assured – saving your marriage becomes much easier to follow through.

  1.  Neediness

When it comes to saving a marriage, any amount of neediness is a big, fat turn-off. If your entire well-being is defined by the attentions of another person, this can be a problem. Therefore, don’t try to be needy all the time. Be needy but not at the expense of the other – where in – their emotions are met and your spouse’s need are ignored outright and put in the back burner.

Saving a marriage is all about compromises and caring for each other’s needs is vital to a healthy relationship.

2. Wanting too much too soon

Trying to develop commitment or intimacy before its time – tend to scare people away. A relationship need a warming up period with no heavy expectations or obligations for it to truly blossom.

What does that mean – you ask? In other words, don’t be pushy. Give your partner their space. Let them be and work on your marriage at a pace that is comfortable for both of you. Intimacy is critical to saving a marriage but it must be mutual.

If you lack the compassion, passion and the desire then there is no connection but only a chore. Intimacy should never be a bore or a chore but rather an exciting time that should re-vitalize a heavenly bond.

3.  Playing it too cool

Playing hard to get or acting like you do not care what the other does or think often backfires at your face. It will be twice as hard to make amends afterwards since in reality, you do care, a lot.  In short don’t be a jerk or don’t be Nagy. Play it cool when the time is right. Acting like you don’t care will only keep hurting your marriage and you will inadvertently grow farther apart from each other.

When it comes to saving a marriage, you need to be able to come closer and get on the right track with each other or else the relationship will take a turn for the worse.

saving a marriage    4.  Relying heavily on social media

It is never a good idea to openly discuss the problems within your marriage, especially on a social media platform such as Facebook. Why would you risk your already strained marriage in the hopes of finding a solution on social media?

All marriages are different and trying to assume that a marriage can be saved by rendering advises from a social platform is a big mistake. True, you have to vent your feelings somehow but social media is not the answer. Seek professional advice or engage in forums that are dedicated to saving a marriage.

5.  Making comparisons

Quit trying to keep up with the Jones’s. Your marriage might not be the way you want it to be but comparing your marriage to someone else, even if it is your close family friend, is never a right choice.

Every person is different – every marriage is different and no one marriage has the same problems. If you keep comparing your marriage to the Jones’s, you are actually sabotaging the relationship.

Do not knowingly sabotage your marriage but instead try to analyse the root cause and work at it together. Remember – it takes two to tango. Even if your partner is reluctant to open up – you need to take the lead in saving your marriage. When you partner sees the consistent effort you are putting in to save your marriage – lest be guaranteed that your spouse will jump in when the time is right.

6. Creating relationship without also building a friendship.

Being able to need or want is an innate human nature and it’s OK to be wanting or to be cared for. However, you cannot achieve that without first being a friend. Why do you have friends in the first place? So that you have someone that you can open up and trust with your feelings and emotions. Likewise, know that within your marriage your spouse is or should be your best friend.

You can’t build a lasting relationship without friendship. So strive to be best pals with your partner – then you are free to a more relaxing and well-formed relationship.

Remember – it’s all in how you communicate and how effectively you are able to convey your feelings. When it comes to saving a marriage the way you communicate matters. Do not take that lightly.

saving-marriage7. Seeking for perfection

You just want something completely unattainable and unrealistic in your partner. You want immediate passion and insane romance but what you should know is whatever you crave, you can’t create it out of thin air so stop expecting too much from your spouse or partner.

There is no such thing as perfection. Perfection is nothing but an illusion created by your diluted mind. If you think there is a perfect time to fix your marriage and you will wait for that perfect opportunity then you might as well give up your hopes for saving your marriage right now.

Know where your problem is within your marriage and take steps at ones to fix it. Do not ignore. If you do not take the initiative then who will?
Life is meant to be enjoyed – so imperfections are acceptable – as long as those imperfections do not wedge a gap between your marriage – you are absolutely fine.

8. Concentrating on the little things

It is overdone when you fixate on all tiny little details, ranging from the significant to the insignificant. It is more about appreciating things as a whole and not dwelling on tiny things you do not like about them.

This again goes back to the previous step. Learn to let go of the little things that are trivial within a relationship. However, we all have our own principles to which we adhere to and our expectation on how others meets our principles.

If in fact the little things that bother you are significant to you, then make it a point to convey that message to your partner. Show by example.

Just by repetition you can’t expect your partner to follow your rules. If you have a rule then adhere to it and show your spouse or partner how much that little thing matter to you and do it yourself consistently.

You will be rewarded for your efforts.

9. Not being honest

Ever heard of the phrase, “Honesty is the best policy”? No matter what area of your life being honest is important. What do you think will happen when you become dishonest? You tend to start with 1 lie and then plenty more lies will follow just to cover up that 1 initial lie – when you could have gotten away with your honesty.

What will happen when you become dishonest at work or in your professional career? You might be successful in hiding behind your dishonesty for a while, but eventually the truth will come out and you will be marked. So why bother with such unwanted headaches.

Never do things that you will later regret. If something’s bothering you be honest and confront the issue rather than ignoring it. Face the challenge or problem right in the face and take a vow to solve it before it gets out of hands.

Try resolving the issues as they arise and not keep it all inside until it reaches a boiling point. It all boils down to how bad you are really wanting to make your marriage better. Saving your marriage is never easy or there are no out-of-the box remedies that will magically save your marriage. You and you alone are responsible to save your marriage.

So begin saving your marriage the right way.

        10. Insecurity

An insecure person requires constant reassurance, validation and confirmation that the other person is into you. It cause you to behave negatively in ways that you normally wouldn’t.
The question is, why would you feel insecure in the first place? Is it because of finances – your spouse is earning more and you are not? Is it an emotional thing? Or is it something else entirely?

Know that you are the chosen one whom your partner chose whole heartedly to spend their life with. So then being insecure really don’t make sense. If you do feel insecure, you need to first figure out where the insecurity is coming from and work at it at the core.

Remember – you and only you can make a lasting change. If you are not willing to change and let your feelings over power you then you start tumbling down the rabbit hole. And in not so distant future you will have your head between your arms worrying as to what went wrong.

Saving Your Marriage: Can it Be Done?

In short, saving a marriage takes time, effort, energy and mutual coexistence between partners. You can initiate the process in saving your marriage without the other but know that you need to take action. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.

Therefore never be disgruntled thinking your actions do not see any results. But rather know and firmly believe that any action you take, no matter how minuscule or picayune, you are bound to get results at one point or the other. The only thing that matters is how much effort you are willing to put in when it comes to saving your marriage.

If you are to be provided with a sure-fire blueprint that will breathe fresh life into your marriage, would you take it or leave it? If you answered yes and you are ready to commit to your marriage – you can surely save your marriage in as less as 60 days starting today! – Here’s How to Save Your Marriage quickly and effectively.

 

 

 

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